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family

PAULIE SAYS

FROM HERE TO THERE

It’s been very hard for me to approach this subject because while it has been an important part of my life, it’s been painful at times. Long distance relationships. I became an internet user at the tender age of 12 or so. Maybe even earlier than that. From there, I met so many people and some of those friendships went beyond screens and borders. And those close to me somehow always moved elsewhere. Even I did for a while.

70cb02d6dbd011e2813a22000a1fb833_7Now, this post was intended to shine a light on how my cards have been dealt and how coincidentally, I’ve had to deal with all kinds of long distance relationships for as long as I’ve known it was possible. Most of my friends I met online while living in separate parts of the world, others I met in person and life made us part ways, I had a previous LDR before meeting Ed (to whom I almost didn’t give a chance given the circumstances), two of my siblings live overseas ever since i was a kid…

People came and went. Met people who lead me to meet more people and build relationships. There was this girl who i befriended, who introduced me to someone else who turned out to be a good riddance, but who would eventually lead me to my friend Annie… We remained friends, traveled together and through her I met more people that I now consider family.

This person, a former friend, who used to criticize me behind my back saying I was someone who was unable to form “real” relationships. What’s real if the lines have been blurred for decades now?  It crushed me because I knew it wasn’t an impossible task, but it was partially right. I have a mild form of Social Anxiety and it’s hard for me to open up to new people quite as easily as most folks – but was this correlated to the fact I ALWAYS ended up separated from the ones I loved? Who knows. It is what it is.

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Us – watching a movie together while apart.

Growing up I figured I’ve worked hard to make long distance relationships work, with friends, family, my boyfriend…Luckily I no longer have to with the latter, but these things have been rewarding. Sometimes I do wish some of them would text me more often, but I get everyone gets caught up with their lives at some point.

I am happy to have survived the distance with him. The planets lined up and sacrifices were made. I feel i finally ~broke the curse~ and came out with funny stories to tell. I want to say LDRs are 50% about location, 50% about perception. I never felt Ed was 16 hours away from me and that kept me going.

My life as a meme. I didn’t choose the LDR life, the LDR life chose me.

 

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